Brené Brown and Emma Chamberlain Helped Me Recover From My Concussion

All I could manage doing last year, around this time, was laying in bed for the majority of the day.

Imagine sleeping for approximately 12 hours, putting a simple breakfast together and then suddenly needing to lay down, as soon as possible, feeling exhausted, sapped of energy, weak, unstable on your feet and dizzy-all-around.

My body felt limited and heavy, sluggish, poorly balanced, unbelievably weak, yet more than anything… a stranger.

I didn’t recognize myself and feared what became of me. Following recovery, would I revert back to my previous self or sustain lasting damage?

Concussions affect people in different ways, based on the force and location of impact that correspond to various areas of the brain. Recovery ranges anywhere from a few days, weeks or several months, according to Healthline.

In my case, the parietal lobe underneath the crown of my head was affected. This area is responsible for processing movement control and positioning of the body.

According to an August 2023 article listed in the National Library of Medicine, on the review of brain regions associated with post-concussion symptoms, “in general, common post-concussion symptoms arising from inferior parietal lobule damage would include somatic… headaches, balance problems, dizziness, light or noise sensitivity… visual and motor problems… and cognitive symptoms… (such as) feeling “slow” or “foggy,” (having) difficulty concentrating or remembering.”

The complete list was part of my experience, in addition to shame, fear and depression. Fear and depression are both understandable, but why feel shame over the accident?

I felt ashamed of the way it happened and about what my coworkers were likely to think of me, later.

It was a stupid and simple accident, not the kind that I believed would result in a concussion or missing a couple months of work. I certainly wouldn’t have believed anyone else claiming to experience one the way I have and maybe that is part of the reason why it happened to me.

People say everything happens for a reason.

While I am positive there are multiple reasons, including blessings in disguise, I strongly feel that humility is one of them. It was a humbling experience, an opportunity to become more understanding and less judgmental.

I often feel proud of myself for being an incredibly understanding person and daresay that I am one of the most understanding people you will ever meet in your lifetime; likely proud enough to give reason for increasing that understanding, with a fresh dose of humbleness, in humility.

Okay, so how did it happen?

If only there was a cool story, such as getting in an epic fight to protect someone, suffering a shocking sports injury or some other less insulting thing… but no.

Roxana hit her head on the jagged end of a paper towel dispenser.

Seriously? Yes, apparently that can give someone a concussion. She achieved this feat by standing up too fast, after picking something off the floor at work. I bet you weren’t expecting that. She wasn’t, either.

I am, indeed, writing in third person, like a silly woman. It’s fine, because I have a silly license. A friend said so. I haven’t ever seen it, but I believe him and that it occasionally permits this behaviour.

A few months before my accident, I was reading one of Brené Brown’s books, Dare to Lead, where the author recounts her own concussion experience. In addition, Brené is also a professor, social worker and podcast host, who is well known for her work on shame, vulnerability and leadership.

Brené’s story encouraged and comforted me during my moments of panic. I know that my alarm would have been worse without reading her story, where she prepared and equipped me with knowledge of what to expect.

As I continued reflecting on my fragility and mortality, in all my human finitude, there wasn’t much else I could do. Learning to be patient, forgiving and kind with myself, were the first steps on my journey.

Sitting up was tiring, standing was difficult and walking was automatically out of the question, as I was off-balance and challenged by dizziness. I couldn’t watch screens for more than 30 seconds, without severe discomfort. Pushing that past two minutes strained me with great pain. Ongoing headaches made me susceptible to light and noise sensitivity, as well as frequently taking anti-inflammatory painkillers like candy.

So, what did I do when the simplest of tasks overwhelmed me and I refused to stare at the ceiling, indefinitely?

I spent days and hours laying in bed while listening to Emma Chamberlain’s podcast, Anything Goes. She is a social media personality, businesswoman and model. Listening to sound was challenging at the time, but I needed something. I played it on low volume and it was very good for me.

What I like most about Emma is how honest and real she is, without shying away from sharing detailed aspects of her life experiences that many others would choose to avoid or hide. She is down-to-earth, entertaining and has a certain kind of wisdom you would wish for in a close friend.

Emma owns and embraces her humanity with delightful authenticity. She will talk about things that have the potential to make her look either good or bad and I love it! Burps, farts and tonsil stones are part of what make us human – and we’re all human!

Sitting at my computer to write was unrealistic during that time. I posted older things I wrote, drew or experienced, while still questioning whether I should keep the site going. I found myself encouraged by Emma, while listening to her podcast. She helped me feel more confident.

Too often, I feel like giving up on my project and struggle pushing myself to move forward. It isn’t the kind of thing I should be writing here, but I am being honest after learning from Emma to spend more time being unapologetically myself. I met her in a dream once, where Emma both encouraged and motivated me to move past self-doubt. Work in progress…

I am also grateful for Brené teaching me about impostor syndrome, in a video I watched years ago, at a former workplace. She later helped me work through vulnerability in her book, Daring Greatly.

On the subject of being vulnerable, I admit to feeling that way now. I’m not happy with my writing, but I ran out of time and I don’t want to cheat by submitting another standalone quote before my midnight deadline.

This is the second version of this post. It isn’t written as well as the first, is a tad rushed and doesn’t include everything I intended to write, but that’s fine, because life isn’t perfect and sometimes effort becomes lost.

The important thing is to show up and try. Going back to my post around Christmas time, sometimes it’s also about learning to suck and being okay with it. Things don’t always turn right and as the sign in my family’s living room says… “if nothing goes right, turn left.”

Good night, internet. ❤