… with pain.
I’m writing this post while accosted by a headache and nausea, both attempting to drag me into migraine territory.
Sure, it may be argued that it’s stupid to push myself under such circumstances… but not today.
This wordsmith has a point to make.
Listen, you have to push yourself past the pain, discomfort, fears, limits and even my bad writing.
Didn’t Woody Allen say that showing up is half the battle? Surprisingly more, in actuality.
“Eighty percent of success is showing up,” he said.
After considering the prospect of laying down and writhing in agony for hours, I did what any self-respecting migraine disabler would do. I reached for painkillers, supplements, a cup of coffee and my stubborn determination. In addition to eating something spicy, of course.
Enough about me. Let’s dive in, folks, there’s no time to waste!
How do you cultivate discipline?… with pain, yes. And?
Tiny Habits.
Dr. BJ Fogg wrote a book by the same name, kindly gifted to me by a hard-working potato farmer based in California. I salute thee, you are probably the most disciplined individual I know.
Returning to Tiny Habits, Dr. Fogg explains the key to lasting change is within small actions, tied to routine-anchored behaviours focused on building small changes that naturally expand and grow habits, thanks to the celebratory positive reinforcement and satisfaction of feel-good, goal-accomplishing success.
What does that run-on sentence mean?
Baby steps grow bigger over time, except we’re actually talking about habits. According to Dr. Fogg, this initially looks like flossing one tooth after brushing your teeth; or perhaps doing two push-ups after you pee. Over time, you will naturally start doing more and also remember to practice your habits thanks to regular routines serving as reminders.
Then celebrate by inducing positive emotions to reward and reinforce this into a repeating pattern. Let’s return to reward-systems several paragraphs later, I have additional thoughts to include.
A tiny action such as flossing one tooth or doing two push-ups may sound silly, but many of us are pathetic enough to only manage this much in successive continuity.
Are you outraged? Good. Why aren’t you flossing your entire mouth after brushing your teeth? Not once or twice, but try 100 consecutive times for example. Each and every tooth.
Notice our dilemma?
Okay, let’s start with one. Build that habit along with your stamina over time. This will lead you to naturally progress to a second, third and eventually all of your teeth.
Your new habit is now rooted in an existing routine. It’s easy to remember, simple to execute and satisfying upon completion, as you prove capable enough to at least do this one thing, with confidence.
What does this have to do with discipline?
Habits form and shape discipline. You will need to show up, repeatedly, either while flossing, raising a child or writing a monthly blog post. This needs to be done even ‘on a bad day’ when you don’t feel like it, have a headache, are tired, anxious, depressed, indignant, hungry or you skipped your shower. That and more.
Identify your values and goals before you decide on the steps to self-control and discipline.
Maybe you want to write a book, run a marathon, spend more time with family, stop eating junk food, plant a vegetable garden, quit social media or reduce empty socialization by trading it for meaningful conversation.
Choose your priorities.
Are there many? Unfortunately that means you don’t really have any priorities to begin with, because time is short and they cancel each other out.
Ouch!
I’ve definitely been guilty of that. How about you?
Think carefully, in reality, are they priorities or rather tempting distractions?
Do you have to answer every email or finish writing a chapter for your book? Should you hang out at the mall with friends or run around the neighbourhood to build your endurance for that marathon coming up?
Clean the house today or play with your kids? Eat chips or an apple? Plant your vegetable seeds or watch a television show? Scroll through social feeds for hours or enjoy a picnic with someone who can engage you in a deep or heartfelt conversation?
Self-awareness is important. We need to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, mindful of our feelings and impulses and prepared to practice daily diligence. Forgiving ourselves is equally necessary.
Set a time of day (or week) to respond to messages, so you’re not always tied down and trapped in replies. Decide how frequently you’re willing to spend time with people so you can complete your projects. Understand what is more important to you, between temporary appearances or adding quality time to your life.
Be prepared to make mistakes and fail. At the same time, be prepared to get back up and keep going. Don’t waste time wallowing in self-pity, guilt, anger or frustration, however, because they’re holding you back and impeding your advancement. Keep pushing forward, no matter how pathetic you think you are, because the more you push, the less pathetic you become. 😉
Own up to your flaws and forgive yourself for being human.
Yours truly needs to forgive herself for writing a post on discipline that ended up being very different from the original intention and rather… subpar. Yes, I think it sucks, but midnight on deadline day is nigh.
That being said, I previously agreed to write material that sucks as part of the deal to write regularly in ‘Starving for Meaning, Learning to Suck and Embracing Christmas Spirit.’ I was supposed to increase posts from once a month to twice, thrice and more. It turns out I dread the one before the many.
My cognitive functions are shutting down as sleep sings its sweet melody. Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. I am tired, ‘sleep-talking’ – in the words of my bestie – and have yet to return to the aforementioned reward system thoughts from earlier… and yet, I have not given up by scrapping this post.
And that’s what we call discipline LOL.
Henceforth, I decided this post will turn into a two-part series in order to do it justice. Before it becomes a parody, I’ll wrap up with a reward system introduction.
Back to video games, we consider the ‘daily’ challenges and rewards systems. The player logs in, completes tasks and receives a record of consecutive completed objectives. There are, of course, objective-specific rewards, however, once the player reaches a consecutive milestone, bonus rewards are unlocked in addition to those previous. For example, a consecutive streak of 28 days will award players with gradually multiplied gold and a treasure map.
The purpose was to explain an application of such a system to real life, mostly for nerds like me, but since I’m falling asleep it will have to wait. In other news, before I turn in for the night, I have officially retired from video game trophy hunting. Shocker.
Yes, that too is part of discipline.
(… to be continued.)
“The first and best victory is to conquer self.”
– PLato
The Point of Meaning 